Light comes creeping slowly between my eyelids. An unwelcome visitor. Head = Pain. Not sure where it's coming from. Or why. Too much drink? Or maybe the thump I took from the man with the blackjack. Too cloudy to recall...want to go back to sleep. That smell. Rot. 'Open your eyes.' Where the fuck am I? Somehow I found my slumber in the dankest alley. Screw. I've been here before.

My keys won't turn my lock. Head = Pain. Wrong key. I need some asprin. I find the right key. Everything is just as I left it. I check anyway. Closet full of paper. Stories I'll never write. Head = Pain. TV on the table. I use it to drown my soul. The never never. Where is that fucking asprin? Check the closet again. Still there. Probably never go anywhere.

Empty the old filter. Fill a new one. Fill the pot with water. Empty the water into the bladder. Replace the empty pot. Turn the drip machine on. Wait...wait...wait...

Focus. Regaining clarity. Walk to the bathroom. I need some asprin. Reaching for the medicine cabinet I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. What the fuck is that? Some yellow crust caked to my head from the eyebrow up. What the fuck is...nevermind. Turn on the shower.

Steam is rising. Clouding the mirror. Thank God. Oh shit. I puke up the asprin. I've been here before. I grab a few more and down them dry as I climb into the cascade of Holy water. For a moment I feel as if I have returned to the womb.

Memories. Push them back. After seeing my reflection in the mirror I want to have nothing to do with the events of last night. 'tough shit' my mind tells me and shows the still images anyway. Too much money in my pocket. Hot bartender. Maybe she was hot. Maybe not. Long Island's. Smoking cigarettes. Lots of cigarettes. Drunk. Push them back.

A sound from the other room. Try to ignore it. Toothbrush. Still not quite human. It's cold in here. No need for memories. Check my pockets. $2. 1/2 pack of Camel lights. A bic lighter with a picture of earth from space. A phone number with no name. I throw it away. Head = Pain. Room begins to spin again. I need to lay down.

Bed. Single Mattress on the floor. Home. Silence. Silence brings memories. Turn on the tv. Drown the soul. Turn on the tv. Drown the soul.

There it is again. That sound. Ignore it. A rustling. I roll over. Try to sleep. Push them back. I hear it again. I can ignore it no longer. I investigate.

Staring at the closet door. The noise won't go away. Head = Pain. I watch my hand reach for the doorknob.

'I need a drink'. I retreat to the kitchen. No clean glasses. Grab on from the sink. Rinse. Bottle of Cutty on the shelf. I swallow. warming. Relief. I swallow more. Head = Relief. I listen. Allow my eyes to move to the closet. Quick glance. I pour another drink. or a moment I realize 'I've been here before'.